May 2013
I just don’t want to be here anymore.
I apologize to everyone following me for being a whiny douchecanoe. I take no offense if you unfollow me.
I’m just so overwhelmed right now that it’s hard to breathe.
I don’t know how to explain this feeling I have. I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to exist. And while I want to be near my family I don’t want to be around anyone ever and I never want to show my face to anyone ever again.
If this trip doesn’t force me to get psychiatric help, nothing will.
And I’m angry with myself because this is the second time I’ve let my mom talk me into moving out here when I wasn’t ready to.
@Rook
I am super fucking stressed because no one is replying back to me about the rooms or jobs and I’m expected to keep handing out my resume only to get nothing in return and it’s just making me depressed and giving me anxiety attacks and I hate it. I should’ve never come out here on my own.
I just want to catch a plane back home today.
I don’t want to be here anymore. I am tired. And I just am not capable yet of doing this on my own.
I hate my life.
I hate my life.
I hate my life.
Job hunting is difficult as fuck when you suffer from extreme social anxiety.
62 Things the Avengers are Not Allowed to Do.
1. Tony is not allowed to replace the entire contents of the cafeteria with pop-tarts just because Thor has declared it the ‘food of the gods.’
2. Natasha is not allowed to interrogate new S.H.I.E.L.D. employees and dispose of the ones she deems unworthy.
3. Clint is not allowed to continue insisting that is the final step of the interview process to terrified new hires.
4. Tony is not allowed to broadcast sing-along songs into the Hulk-cage, no matter amusing he finds teaching Hulk “Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn around”
5. Clint is not allowed to put the security feed of the Hulk’s Teddy Bear dance on Youtube.
6. Bruce is not allowed to hack into personnel files to look up blackmail material on Director Fury.
7. Tony is not allowed to insist that he’s already done so and that Fury’s middle name is Rainbow Sprinkles…. Because it isn’t.
8. Thor is not allowed to be naked at Headquarters. Ever.
9. Steve is not allowed to address any female S.H.I.E.L.D. agents as ‘little lady,’ ‘broad,’ or ‘dame.’ It only ends in getting slapped.
10. Agent Coulson’s name isn’t “Mom.”
11. Director Fury should never again be addressed as “Dad”
12. Agent Hill is not the Avenger’s wicked stepmother.
13. Clint is not allowed to lurk in the shadowy rafters spying on people, unless specifically instructed to do so for an official S.H.I.E.L.D. sanctioned mission.
14. ‘Operation Irritate the Fuck Out of Nick Fury’ is not an official mission, no matter what Tony or Natasha say to the contrary.
15. Debriefings should not be preceded by tequila shots.
16. Debriefings should not be followed by tequila shots.
17. There are to be no shots of any kind during debriefings.
18. Thor and Hulk will wait to fight until after the battle is over.
19. Tony Stark is not God’s gift to women.
20. The Avengers do not need matching uniforms.
21. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to have a contest to see who can make a bigger “boom” in the lab.
22. Thor is not allowed to join in and make the biggest boom with his hammer.
23. The Avengers will not be celebrating Steve’s 94th birthday.
24. The laboratory is not Tony and Bruce’s ‘Super Secret Genius Clubhouse.’ They are not allowed to bar entry to employees based on IQ test results.
25. The Avengers are not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
26. Iron Man is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
27. Tony Stark is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
28. Thor is not allowed to ‘bring down the wrath of Odinson’ on the person who ate the last package of pop-tarts.
29. Pants are not optional at team meetings.
30. ‘Pepper said it was okay’ is not a good enough reason to defy a director order from command.
31. The words “What’s the worst that could happen?” are never to be uttered on a mission ever again.
32. MC Hammer did not write Thor a theme song.
33. Gumby is not the love child of Bruce Banner and Reed Richards.
34. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to impersonate members of the clergy ever again. Ever.
35. Blasting ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ at top volume into Bruce’s room on loop overnight is not an effective way to suppress the Hulk.
36. Hawkeye is not sitting in the rafters waiting to pick off people playing Galaga on their computer during work hours.
37. Tony is not allowed to bribe Natasha and Clint to physically, emotionally or psychologically torture General Ross for being ‘a great big douchebucket’ and ‘being mean to Brucie-kins.’
38. Steve is ‘Captain America’ not ‘Captain New York and those 49 other, lesser states.’
39. ‘Hulk SMASH!’ is not an effective diplomatic policy.
40. Tony is not allowed to buy the Dodgers and move them back to Brooklyn to apologize for lighting Steve’s hair on fire.
41. The phrase ‘Trust me, I’m a doctor’ never leads anywhere good.
42. It is not funny to dare Bruce to drink three quarts of green food coloring before a urine test.
43. Steve is not to be introduced as ‘Captain Tightpants’ or ‘The All-American Virgin.’
44. The Avengers do not ‘charge into battle, naked like the Celts.’ Except for The Hulk. Sometimes.
45. Natasha’s glare is not in fact fatal. Tony is not allowed to continue implying that it is.
46. Tony is not allowed to convince Bruce to help him make death ray goggles so that it will be.
47. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow the American government, just because they didn’t like the results from the last election.
48. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow any government, without checking in with S.H.I.E.L.D. first.
49. Clint is not allowed to sell Thor any ‘magic beans.’
50. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to try to sell Tony to another planet, even if they are promised really cool new weapons in exchange.
51. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go to any science conferences without a chaperone.
52. A robot Tony built does not count as a chaperone.
53. Nikola Tesla is not a vampire being held in the bowels of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.
54. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go searching for him in the name of Science!
55. Clint’s super-power is not ‘being super-annoying.’
56. The following words and phrases are never to be uttered over communication devices during an active mission ever again: “Exploring sexuality,” “Necrophilia,” “It’s getting hot in herr, so take off all your clothes,” “I hate everyone on this mission and I wish they’d die in a fire,” “Nick Fury can go suck on a big bag of sausages,” references to Bruce’s giant stash of weed, mention of anyone’s erection, or “Shawarma.”
57. If it makes Tony giggle for more than 30 seconds, it isn’t allowed.
58. If it makes Natasha crack a smile, it’s probably illegal.
59. Thor taking Jane to see Asgard does not count as an alien abduction. Clint should stop referring to it as such.
60. Just because Bruce agreed to work in Tony’s lab, does not mean he needs to get a “Property of Stark Industries” tattoo.
61. Tony is not allowed to design a robot to draw said tattoo on Bruce when he falls asleep in the lab.
62. Post-mission reports to Director Fury should not start out ‘So let me explain…’
pungent-petrichor:
It’s way simple right. If you want to explain why two men, or two women are getting married, you explain it exactly the same way you would with a hetero couple.
You don’t need to explain how they fuck, you need to explain that sometimes, when two people are in love, they get married, which is like a big public promise that they’ll love and look after each other for as long...
I want to stay here, but if I don’t get any job offers or a place to stay, then I have to leave, and my family is going to hold it over my head.
I fucking hate interacting with people. I am shit at talking to them. I just want to live in a small house by myself so I don’t have to see anyone.
Level of optimism today: 2
I just had an idea: if I move back, I could live with.my sister.in law and have cps pay me to watch my nieces and nephew.
I am making a promise to myself right now that if I have to go back home, I won’t be mad at myself. Because I came out here on my own, I know I can do it again, I just wasn’t prepared enough and that’s not a bad thing.
I’m tired of feeling like the failure no one will ever be proud of.
I don’t know if I honestly want to kill myself or not, I just know that I want to stop feeling like I fuck up everything and let everyone down.
I’m just wondering why the authors of these epic fanfics aren’t altering names and a few details and then getting them publishes in mainstream.
Rec me a YA novel that wasn’t written by John Green.
Life would be easier if I actually had some marketable skills.
Misha: I think Cas needs a possession tattoo and I...
I just want to kill myself.
I’m never going to amount to anything.
I just have to face the fact that I am a loner because I am not someone people like to be friends with irl.
I wish my mom would understand that it’s not Satan in my head, I am fucking depressed, suffering from intense anxiety attacks and I need more help than just prayer.
I’m done. I’m just gonna crawl in a hole and die now.
I’m just fucking angry now. Talking to my mom didn’t help anything. It made things worse.
I don’t want to go back home, but if I don’t find an apartment or job in the next week I’ll have to.
remember to breathe.: jimmynovaks: do you realise... →
jimmynovaks:
do you realise how many missing persons are going to resurface suddenly after heaven falls
how many confused and broken families are going to be thrown into chaos by the reappearance of their relatives (who are no longer their relatives)
the worldwide panic and shock and…
It’s because Anna chose to give up her grace, meaning the vessel we saw her in wasn’t her...
I, a person who once despised Scott, now admit that Scott is a better and smarter person than Derek, and he is way more equipped to be an Alpha than Derek.
I stan Alpha!Scott.
I think I’m just going to watch tv on Netflix to try and distract this anxiety and feelings of worthlessness.
homosocks:
shout out to the people who never unfollow me for some reason even when i never post anything relevant to their interests
Especially when I’m a whiny douchecanoe.
I should be out giving out my resume, but I can’t bring myself to get out of bed. I dont even want to eat today.
I think one of the reasons I am so anxious is because I have no college education. I want to be back in school so I can actually have the career I want, but I’m poor and it feels like I am never going to get there.
scoutsxhonor:
halesass asked you:
Can I request: Stiles pines for Derek. Derek thinks he needs to get over Stiles bc misunderstanding of feelings. Derek has a date, Stiles helps him dress and pep talks him and //it hurts// but he wants Derek to be happy so he does it. Derek drives off to pick up his date and Stiles goes home to eat ice cream… where he finds Derek sitting on his bed, saying “I...
My body is shaking and it’s pissing me off.
justxlosersxlikexme:
So here’s the plan, we give all the angels Redbull
I need to get myself better. I have to start accepting that I’m not okay and stop pretending I’m fine so I don’t burden others.
lord grant me the strength to accept the plot lines i cannot change
courage to continue to watch the show
and wisdom to remember i am not a member of the psychotic part of the fandom
amen
